Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
