oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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