sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
