i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
