I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
