im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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