we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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