i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
