I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
