I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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