i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
