she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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