ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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