It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
