I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
