my mouth tastes like poor choices
my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it because I queefed?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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