I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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