I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize