You work out of a Hotel?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
