I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
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There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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