About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
