How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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