Just cropdusted the office
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
