i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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