you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
