she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
