last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's rum buckets o'clock
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
