dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize