Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
