Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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