Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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