Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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