i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
