i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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