Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You ate ashes out of my bong
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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