i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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