How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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