I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
