porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The best revenge is premature balding
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
