you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
