i will never coherently bang her
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
