he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
