do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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