how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
