i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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