Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
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I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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