I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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