Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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