He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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