I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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