hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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