so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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