Only a mothe r could love this liver
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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