am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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