READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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