are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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