He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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