Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
