i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
