Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is Oprah even human
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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