I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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