she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
