go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wish my penis had a tongue
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
